But someone has to speak up for our beleaguered CEO class, and
let me begin with that spurious comparison to the top military
brass. Could we put patriotic emotion aside for a moment and
look at this in a hardheaded, bottom-line sort of way?
Suppose you are the general responsible for all the service
people in Iraq, about 130,000, and suppose you manage to lose
every single one of them in some ghastly miscalculation. With
the death benefit for the family of one dead soldier running at
$100,000, your mistake will cost a total of $13 billion. Sounds
like a lot, I know, until you consider that a hedge fund manager
or financial company CEO can lose that much in a single
afternoon, without anyone even noticing. There is simply no
comparison between a general and a CEO.
That's a side issue, though. The real point, which the CEOs
and their usual defenders are strangely reticent to make, is
that it's damn expensive to be rich, and extravagantly expensive
to be super-rich. Before you start playing your air violins,
consider the costs of maintaining as many as five different
homes, some of them as large as 45,000 square feet, most with
swimming pools, tennis courts, guest houses and wine cellars
requiring constant supervision.
The poor whine about having no home at all, or maybe a
two-bedroom apartment for a family of six. They should just
think for one moment of the tribulations involved in running
four or more mansions, each with its own full-time staff.
There's the problem of getting between them, for example. A
friend of mine, of very modest means himself, consults for a
billionaire couple who commute between London and Los Angeles by
private jet, with their dogs following in a second private jet.
But much of what we know about the extreme costs of wealth
comes from Wall Street Journal columnist Robert Frank's
recent book
Richistan. The ultra-rich, drawn largely from the CEO
class, require staffs of about forty to fifty people, including
not only cooks, maids and nannies but "lifestyle managers" (to
set up the entertainment schedule) and--in a throwback to the
original Gilded Age--butlers. It's the butler's job, among other
things, to deal with any issues that may arise from the
proliferation of homes. For example, if the boss is in Palm
Beach, Frank reports, "and wants to send his jet to New York to
pick up a Chateau LaTour from his South Hampton cellar, the
butler makes it happen, no questions asked."
Nor are the ultra-rich in a position to cut back on their
expenses--by, say, running down to the supermarket for a $12
bottle of Chardonnay. If they were to do so, their friends would
despise them. As Frank explains, the Richistani word "affluent,"
meaning someone with less than $10 million in assets, translates
into English roughly as "scum."
A mean-spirited critic of the ultra-rich CEO class might
grumble that the rich should simply find a new circle of
friends. But who exactly might these new friends be? If you were
in the $100 million-in-assets set, you could hardly consort with
the class of people for whom a pittance like $10,000 might be a
transformative sum, possibly allowing Granny to get her insulin
and the children to have warm winter clothes. People of that
class could not be trusted not to pocket the silverware or rip
out the gold fixtures in your powder room. They might even make
a lunge for your throat.